Monday Musings: Romance

Romance. What is romance? To me, romance is doing something for your partner that you know will make her/him smile.  It's the thought behind the gesture.  While women can most certainly be romantic, for this posting, I'm going to focus on the man's perspective. 

For some men, one romantic gesture is to give the woman they love flowers.  At the surface, it appears to be a very romantic thing to do.  However, if they really wanted to be romantic about it, after presenting her with the flowers, they could take them back, cut the stems diagonally at the bottom, fill the vase with water (and plant food if it was included), and arrange them in the vase.  Then they could keep tabs on the flowers and change the water as needed.  It would be truly romantic for the woman to be able to sit back and really admire them, without having to do the work of keeping them alive.

Another thing some men like to do is give their women a box of chocolates.  Men think they are doing something romantic by doing this, but for us women who loooove chocolate, but dislike the way they look and are trying to do something about it, this can be a major setback.  "Yeah, hun, I appreciate the sentiment, but thanks for the temptation..."

It may seem like I'd be ungrateful with those kinds of gifts, and maybe I am a little, if I'm being honest.  But I don't need material things from the man I love.  If he wanted to be romantic, I'd be tickled pink by the small things.  For instance, instead of me making dinner every night, maybe one night he could say that he'd take care of dinner.  Even though he doesn't cook, he could still stop somewhere on his way home from work and pick up dinner.  Or, after making dinner when I cleanup the kitchen and do the dishes, if he could intervene and say "why don't you go put your feet up and I'll take care of this".  Or he could suggest going out for a walk with our daughter. It's the little things like that that I appreciate the most.

Sometimes I wish I was the man in the relationship.  I've made his lunch for him for the following day when he was out late with his guy friends, so he wouldn't have to make it when he got home.  I even took a marker and wrote "I love you" on the outside of the baggie.  I gave my husband the PS2 game, Madden for Valentine's Day a few years back b/c I knew he'd like it (his co-workers said I was a keeper and that they wished their wives/gfs/etc. would have given them that gift :) )

Sometimes I just wish that I could be one of the characters in a Nora Roberts novel, or a sappy chick-flick.  (I'd say that I'd like to be one of the characters in a Nicholas Sparks novel, but usually one of his characters dies in the end...).  I want to be able to feel the passion.  You know, get the butterflies in your tummy feeling.  The kind of feelings you get when you go on your first date.  Maybe it's just me.  Maybe I'm the only one holding myself back.  Maybe that's the problem with me wathching those kinds of movies or reading those kinds of stories.  Life just isn't like that.  But why can't it be like that?        

Monday Musings: Mean Mommy

I am going to be a mean mommy.  Even before I was pregnant, I said I was going to be a mean mommy.  What exactly is a mean mommy?   

Well, several years ago, I was an assistant early childhood education teacher at a daycare.  Basically, I floated from room to room wherever and whenever the daycare needed me.  In this daycare there were three classrooms of infants, two classrooms of toddlers, two classrooms of the next age group, one pre-K, and one half-day classroom.

Well, one week I was in the half-day classroom filling in for the lead teacher.  There was this little girl, I'm guessing around the age of 4, who refused to eat her sandwich and healthy foods.  She would only eat the junk snack foods that her parents provided her.  I was not okay with that.  So at lunch time, instead of presenting her with all of the food that was in her lunch box, I only put out her sandwich and healthy items.  She decided to try and push my buttons by just sitting there without eatting anything.  It's not long after lunch that the parents come to pick up their kids.  Well, when it was time to pick up this little girl, the mother picked up the lunchbox, and noticed that it was still heavy.  She looked inside and saw that all of the food she had prepared was still there.  I explained to her that I wouldn't permit her to eat the junk without eatting the healthy first.  Her comment to me, "You're a mean mommy, aren't you?" (said with a smile).   After a couple days of doing this, the girl realized that I wouldn't budge, and she ate her sandwich :)  So yes, I am going to be a mean mommy.

I will follow through on any consequences (not punishments, mind you...) that need to be dished out.  Even if it means I need to sacrifice something.  For example, if we are on our way somewhere, and my child is misbehaving, and I say to him/her, "If you don't stop right now, we are turning around and going home", then that's what we'll do if the behavior continues.  I hope that when the time comes for me to have to discipline my child, I remember my values and philosophies and put them into practice.

I hope I never, ever say "because I said so".  I always hated that as a child.  I have a logical mind, and so that answer never worked for me.  Tell me the reason why I couldn't go outside. "I don't have the time right now to go outside with you and make sure that you are safe".  I would have accepted that. 

Or when it's time to put toys away, that I have the patience to sit with my kids and make sure that they put their toys away, instead of me doing it for them.  And if they refuse, that I have the will and patience to pull them aside and explain to them why we need to put the toys away.  Then give them a time out for defiance (if the talk didn't work).  After the time out, I hope that I ask them if they understood why they were in time out, and then continue with a follow-through of them helping to clean up.

I believe that, while it may take some time, embarassment (read as: "hissy fits in the store"), and a lot of patience, it is worth it to guide the child towards doing the right thing, instead of giving in and letting the situation carry on, which will only make it that much more difficult in the future.

If being a mean mommy is ultimately looking out for the best interests of my children instead of playing by their rules, then that's what I am.  A mean mommy.  My daughter may think I'm her BFF now, but she has no idea what she's in for... 

Monday Musings: The End of Winter

When will Old Man Winter settle down for the season?  Have we seen the last of the snow for this year?  The snow this year was so awful, that my hubby was granted 2 days off from work, which almost never happens.  I'm going stir crazy with cabin fever.  I like taking walks with Galina in her stroller, but with icy and snowy sidewalks, I'm not taking any chances.

So, in review:

12/19/09 - 13.5 inches

2/6/10 - Almost 14 inches

2/9/10 - (Got tired of measuring...)

In summary, that was a LOT of snow!!!  If I hear the "s-word" one more time this winter...

Monday Musings: The Revenge of a Jilted Ex-Girlfriend

Every once in a while, I check out the webpage of the guy that broke my heart over 8 years ago.  It's simply morbid curiousity.  Not so long ago, I checked out his webpage to learn that he is about to get married.  And to top it off, his wedding date is 2 days (and 4 years) after my own wedding date.  The fact that he is getting married stung at first.  He was my first love, and he shattered my heart.  A small part of me will always love him, and the good part of that relationship. 

Now don't get me wrong.  I have absolutely no desire to see or talk to him again.  And my husband once asked me that if I were still single, would I ever go back to him.  My answer was that if he was the guy from the good part of the relationship, then I probably would have liked the chance.  But knowing the kind of person he was at the end of the relationship, there are no second thoughts.  There are no doubts in my mind that I married the better guy.  I wouldn't trade my Max for all the money in the world, for he truly is a wonderful husband and an awesome father.

Now, on to the revenge...

On his webpage are links to the stores where the bride and groom are registered.  The ultimate revenge would be to go and buy all of the things on his registry.  Imagine the confusion after the bridal shower, when all of the gifts that were purchased from their registry are nowhere to be found.  But what would I do with all of those items that aren't of my taste, and have no use for me?  Well, I would return them after the wedding date, of course.  While I think it would be amusing, I would never do it.  I'm just not that kind of person.  And while it would be revenge on my ex, it's also hurting an innocent bystander (well, relatively innocent...).  It's not fair to do that to his fiancee.

I hope, for her sake, that he grew up and treats her with love and respect.  I hope that he realized how much hurt he caused two girls in his past (he did the same thing to the girl after me) and decided to never again treat someone that way.  And in my heart of hearts, I hope that he is happy.     

Monday Musings: Galina vs. The Sock Monkey

I wonder who will win?

And in this corner, we have Galina, weighing in at a whopping 20 lbs...






And the winner is....

GALINA!